My name is Lilian da Silva Pinheiro da Cruz. I am 37 years old, and I will be 38 in December. I have two daughters: Naiandra and Eloá. One is 17 and the other 13. I am a nursing student. And I’m a store inspector at the mall. I live in Belém do Pará, but I live exactly in “Sacramenta” (Sacrament), and I am a devotee of Our Lady of Nazareth. And Paysandu too.

The Taper of Our Lady of Nazareth takes place on the second Sunday in October. It is a long procession from the “Igreja da Sé” (Sé Church) to the “Basilica of Nazaré” (Basilica of the Annunciation in Nazareth). The “Berlinda” is a golden cart all decorated with flowers and our Saint is in it, and the rope for pulling the “Berlinda” cart. Many people, men and women, pull the rope together and carry the iron structure during the Taper of Our Lady of Nazareth procession. And nobody sleeps in Belém that night. Everyone stays on the street, because on Saturday there is a “trasladação” (a candlelight procession), and also the rope, but the greatest protection comes from the Taper of Our Lady of Nazareth. They turn on the speakers and the mass is broadcast on these amplifiers throughout the entire Taper of Our Lady of Nazareth procession. Then, we can take our place on the rope, as we say here, and listen to the mass.

I grew up watching my mother honoring her promise, her asking and Our Lady of Nazareth, and making it happen, as her intercessor. I remember as if it were today: I was 13 years old, and then I heard my mother and father talking about my mother’s heart problem. And then, I was afraid my mother would die, afraid of being left alone with my father and brother. I made a promise to Our Lady of Nazareth that if my mother survived the catheterization I would participate on the rope for the rest of my mom’s life. And so, I went every year.

We would wake up early, and we would buy our special shirts, eat breakfast and I would go to the rope, and she would follow me beside me, giving me water, we really needed lots of water. And we continued doing that: 13, 14, 15, 16… And then when it happened… My mom died when I was 21 years old. I did that from 13 years old until when my two daughters were born. I didn’t go when I was 19 years old, because I was injured, and now I haven’t gone for the past two years because of the pandemic, unfortunately, there hasn’t been any rope procession. And I intend to go as long as I am strong and healthy.

People ask why I kept going even after Mom was gone and had died, as that was my promise. It’s like I paid penitence for all my sins there. It’s like I’m thankful for everything I’ve experienced, survived and everything I’ve achieved. Those 6 hours squeezed together on that rope, it’s so hot and there is so much suffering… your feet get hurt so much. Our chests hurt so much, because everyone is so tight. Your skin gets allergic rashes because the people pour sweat on you. You get sick because it’s so sunny and there’s so much cold, cold water. And it never rains, right? It rains a lot in Belém, but it never rains during the Taper of Our Lady of Nazareth procession. We go barefoot. We wear the most comfortable clothes possible, that means wearing our oldest clothes. We only wear new shirts because that is part of the Taper of Our Lady of Nazareth tradition. Our hair is tied back, and we don’t wear any earrings. We go there empty-handed. We go there just with our faith, our suffering too, our gratitude, and you even think about others. Because if you wear jeans, you’ll get hurt; if you wear shoes, you’ll get hurt; if you wear earrings, a watch, and a bracelet, you’ll get hurt. In other words, you can’t take anything with you. Vanity stays at home, and you go there wholeheartedly to pay your promise. You go there barefoot, not dressed up, but completely surrendered to our Saint.

And when the procession ends, and when we manage to drop the rope in front of the Basilica of Nazareth, then it’s over. I’m all sore, my foot is injured, my hand is wrinkled, because there’s so much water. I’m all wet. Sweaty and tired. I’m Hungry. But I feel a sense of accomplishment. It’s like I take off all the weights I’m carrying on my back and leave them on that rope. I give thanks, kneeling on the floor holding the rope. I thank God for giving me the strength. I thank our Lady for letting it happen, for the good things that happened that year, and after that we go home.

I keep walking. I walk from Avenida Nazaré, where the Basilica is, and then I walk to “Sacramenta” (Sacrament). And then when I arrive at my house, everyone is waiting for me. Not just waiting for me, but because everyone wants a piece of that rope, they want to take it home. I have a lot of relatives who live in the countryside, and they always expect to get their little piece of rope to take home with them, to bless their homes. It’s like an amulet too. And that’s it! We have lunch together, and then we celebrate. It’s like Christmastime for the people of Pará, right? And that’s it! I’m very tired but very grateful. I have a feeling of accomplishment. I’m very happy! There are mixed feelings. So, it’s impossible to actually describe what I feel. All those sacrifices… 21 years on that rope. 21 years holding onto that rope. Yes, but I would do it all over again.